| reading guides |
1. In the beginning of her book, Susan Jane Gilman says she suffered from contradictory ambitions. On one hand she "wanted to
be the biggest star in the universe," yet at the same time she wanted to be“exactly like everyone else.” How does this theme carry
through the very different stories in the book? Do you think this internal contradiction is common in people?
2. In the chapter "White Like Me," Gilman writes about the white kids in her neighborhood yearning to be black. Do you think that
this is something that is still relevant today? What is the essence of this longing?
3. In the chapter about her parents divorce, Gilman writes viscerally about her family's collective breakdown. Was she unkind in
her portrayals? Why might an author choose to write so nakedly about this?
4. Gilman writes about some fairly unique experiences: Following a Maharashi, dining with Mick Jagger, visiting a concentration
camp, and working for Congress. Were these stories accessible to the reader, despite the fact that most people haven't done these
things?
5. Conversely, Gilman writes about some fairly standard experiences: losing her virginity, being bullied, working her first job.
Were these more or less compelling than her unique experiences? If so, why?
6. In the chapter “Puberty, Sex, and Other Extreme Sports,” Gilman writes about growing breasts and losing her virginity. Is the
focus of her experiences primarily sexual? What points do you think the author was trying to make in sharing these intimacies?
7. Which of the stories was the most surprising to you? The most relate-able? Did any of them alienate you?
8. Many of Gilman's stories are rooted in a specific place and time: New York in the 1960s, 70s, 80s. How do the location and
times impact the stories? Do they limit your appreciation of them? Do you think they limit the book's audience?
9. Gilman calls herself a “Hypocrite in a pouffy white dress” for falling in love with a gown at David’s Bridal. Do you agree with this
assessment?
10. Does Gilman present herself as either the heroine or the victim in any of these stories? Should she?
11. Although the title essay in this book concerns marriage, Gilman includes few details about her husband. Was this frustrating?
Why might she have chosen to omit a lot about him?
Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress
1. Gilman opens this books with the assertion: What do women want? Smart, no-nonsense advice about how to navigate the
world—and a good laugh—preferably at the same time. Do you agree?
2. In her chapter “If You Can’t Order Dessert, You Can’t Ask for a Raise,” Gilman argues that dieting creates a mindset of
scarcity and self-denial within women. Do you think this is accurate?
3. Gilman declares “It’s better to be fabulous than nice.” How does she define “niceness”? Is this a call for women to be bitchy,
or something else?
4. Gilman is pro-marriage, pro-capitalism, and pro-religion, yet wary of all three. She also cracks jokes at the expense of Right-
wingers, vegans, folk singers, and older feminists. How would you define her views? Does the book have a clear political agenda?
5. Gilman illuminates a lot of different types of female behavior. Which ones resonated most with you?
6. How realistic is her advice vis-à-vis salary negotiations and using PMS as a power tool?
7. The chapter “Wisdom from Dickville” explores what women can learn from men in terms of self-esteem and confidence. What
might you add to this list? Do you think the book is hostile towards men, laudatory, or neither?
8. The chapter, “Family. Oy. How to Survive Your Relatives,” claims that families can be an even greater source of negative
female stereotyping than the media. Would you agree?
9. What do you disagree with most in Kiss My Tiara? Did you learn anything from it? Did it compel you to question any of your
own assumptions about the world?
10. The language of this book is colloquial and sometimes vulgar. Why do you think Gilman chose to write it this way? Do you
think it ultimately helps or undermines her arguments?
11. Why has this book been classified as “Self Help” instead of as “Women’s Studies”? Would you have been more or less likely
to read it or buy it if it had been catagorized differently?
| Kiss My Tiara |
| Hello, I'm often contacted by Book Clubs requesting talking points for my books. And so, my publisher and I have compiled reading guides designed to stimulate discussions of "Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress" and "Kiss My Tiara" . Since I'm a huge fan (and proponent) of book clubs, I'm happy to respond to your group personally whenever I can -- usually via conference call or email, or, on those rare occasions when the schedule gods permit, in person. Regardless, please don't hesitate to contact me via this website with any questions your group may have. If I can't answer them, I'll let you know -- but nothing ventured, nothing gained!
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